ability

that happened wen i was having a dinner w/ my host family.

my host dad asked me a question. actually, i couldnt catch him, but i didnt beg my pardon.

mayb i anwered in a wrong way, i guess. right after answering, my seven-year-old host sister said to me, "do u know english?" then, everyone laughed except me.

i didnt get y they were laughing. they were saying like, "she(I) forgets english." a few days ago, i went to a trip to LA w/ my mom and used a lot of japanese, of course. so they thought that i forgot english bcz of the trip and that was y i had a wrong answer.

to be honest, i got so shocked and a little bit angry. today, sth was wrong w/ my english ability. i couldnt understand wat a clerk told me in a book store. this made me depressed about my listening ability. i guess im still tired.

then, wat i wrote before happened. im not a native english speaker. i cant understand a whole thing. they cant speak any other language except english. they seem to think that learning english is not so hard and that a huge number of ppl can speak it very easily and fluently. thats totally wrong, tho.

they dunno how difficult it is to speak in a different language. so i want them to understand this. thats y i got shocked and angry. i got most shocked and angry w/ my ability, tho...

i know this kinda things often happen as long as i learn a different language. but this event made me nervous.... can i deal w/ lectures at college??? is my english fine enough to catch up??

i miss jpn, seriously.